Sunday 19 February 2017

Dear Younger Me...





Hey guys, welcome back to my blog for a brand new post! I've had a busy week so just doing another quick one today, this post is going to be a letter to a 16 year old me...hope you enjoy!






Dear 16 year old Beki,

You're now 22, time to look back and reflect upon what's happened the past 6 years! It's been one massive journey and a long road to full happiness again, I won't lie to you, you're not quite there yet but keep going, you'll get there soon! 16 is the age you first started to become depressed and anxious, you felt a little different and isolated at times, but that's okay, through the years you'll come to learn that being different is sometimes good and a lot more people than you realise struggle and suffer from all sorts of things!

Don't stress so much over your GCSE's and getting good grades, just get the best you can get and if it's not what you wanted, remember that it isn't the end of the world, you'll still get into college and do the course you wish to do and you'll have ups and downs on that but it'll be some of the best 2 years for you. Just enjoy being a 16 year old and stop worrying about the little things, everything will work out for you one day.

Once your GCSE's are over, you'll go to prom and have a good night with your friends and it'll be a time to celebrate the past and look forward to the future. You may not turn up to prom in a fancy way or have a prom date but that doesn't matter, enjoy the night with your friends, that's what matters! Then you've got summer to look forward to, spend as much time as you can seeing friends as once you start college you may not get as much time. You'll go on holiday too and have a great time, one final chance to relax before college!

Summer over, college begins. You'll be going to Writtle College and studying the Level 3 Extended Diploma in Horse Management just like you wanted to. You'll feel nervous and anxious to start with but you'll be in good company and you'll soon settle in. This course will be great for you, you'll meet new friends, you'll learn new things and just remember to enjoy yourself, time flies by!

Try not to take things to heart so much and try not to care about what others think, this will get easier in time but you're still pretty sensitive now at 22. Just take things one day at a time, every day is a new day with something new to bring, you'll learn over time how to be positive and you'll lose some and gain some friends along the way, but that's all part of life and growing up. You may think now that you're stuck in this depressive state forever, but I promise you're not. Harming yourself isn't worth it either, I know it seems like the only option at times but things get better, listen to some music, block the negativity out, have a little cry if you need to -it's healthy sometimes!


















Stay strong, stay smiling and stay positive. You've got an amazing family and some great, supportive friends who'll keep you going. There's a light at the end of the tunnel and you'll get there eventually, just keep on going and look forward to the future instead of dwelling on the past. Chin up, you've got this Beki!

One day, we'll be able to rewrite this and say we've made it, but for now, we'll keep going and keep fighting until we reach the goal.

Good Luck!

Lots of love, 22 year old Beki x


Tuesday 14 February 2017

Travel Wishlist..

Hey everyone! Firstly, I wanted to wish you all a Happy Valentines Day, whether you're celebrating or not, enjoy whatever it is you are doing! Secondly, I also want to apologise for neglecting my blog a little the past few weeks. I've been so busy working or doing other things i've not really had the time to sit down and write a post. Also, as the weather has been pretty dull the lighting in my bedroom has been way too awful to try and take decent photos to post! So today, i've decided to do a travel wishlist and share with you some of the places I want to travel to/around at some point - hope you enjoy! 


   First up is actually a place i've been to many times but I just can't get enough of it, it's my absolute FAVOURITE place to go on holiday, and that place is Majorca. More specifically, a resort called Club Mac, in a town called Alcudia. I just love it there. Alcudia is such a pretty town with so much to do. There's lots of little shops everywhere and a market in the old town twice a week which sells all sorts from clothes, to jewellery, to little bits and bobs you can pick up as souvenirs. There's also a beautiful beach and a harbor with lots of gorgeous boats! It's not really on my 'wishlist' to travel as i've been many times, but I couldn't resist telling you all a little about it!




 Italy:
 Italy is a country that just really fascinates and interests me. I think it's so beautiful and it's my ultimate dream to explore it. There's not one particular place I want to go to in Italy. I want to go all over, Rome, Venice, Verona, Florence, Tuscany, Pisa, Milan, Amalfi Coast, Italian Riviera...just everywhere! I'd love to explore, sight see and try proper Italian food. Also, the language is stunning, i'd love to learn to speak it too! If anyone has any recommendations on where in Italy to go or what to do/see, please do let me know!

Prague - Czech Republic:
Next on my list is a particular city - Prague. Prague just fascinates me, I think it looks absolutely stunning. I know a few people who have visited there and I just love the way it looks. It's got some really gorgeous settings and buildings and I think i'd just love to explore the city.

Spain:
I know this one may sound a bit boring to some people, but the only part of Spain i've ever been to is an Island and that is Majorca. I'd love to go to mainland Spain and visit some places there. Mainly places such as Madrid and Barcelona - for pretty obvious reasons as they are just stunning cities with so much history and culture to learn about. But i'd also love to go to some of the more maybe 'forgotten' places, places such as Seville, Granada and Cadiz as they just look so pretty! Obviously i'd also love to go to areas along the Costa Del Sol such as Marbella, Fuengirola and Torremolinos - just because they're gorgeous places to go and also, who doesn't love a good beach trip?!

France:
Again, maybe a 'typical' place but i've only ever been to Calais and Paris, and as much as i'm dying to go back to Paris, including Disneyland - obviously, there's other parts of France i'd love to visit too. Bordeaux for example. Looking at pictures of Bordeaux, something really draws me in, it looks so pretty and has some lovely old buildings i'd just love to see. Marseille being another place, especially the port, it looks stunning there and being in the Southeastern coastal region of France, the climate seems gorgeous! Loire Valley also looks absolutely beautiful. It has a stunning castle and river and i'd just love to explore and pretend to be a princess for a day! Obviously I have to finish off France with the French Riviera, you'd just be crazy if you don't want to visit, in my opinion, it has some seriously gorgeous places to visit and also amazing views!

Netherlands:
Another Europe destination here, this time it's the Netherlands. I'd absolutely love to visit Amsterdam simply because it looks like such a gorgeous city. It has some really pretty canals and buildings and the city just looks stunning so it's definitely somewhere i'd like to go! Rotterdam is another, it has more of a 'city' look to it with it's buildings, but it still looks beautiful. Final one is Giethoorn - a bit of a hidden gem but it is stunning! It reminds me a little of Venice as it has no cars so people get around by boat and it just looks one of the prettiest little places ever!

Ireland:
Final Europe one, I promise!! Ireland is another dream destination of mine and has been for quite a while. I am completely in love with the accent and that is just one of many things that draws me there. I'd love to get to Dublin as it just looks super pretty. Donegal is next as it just has gorgeous places to see. Next on my list is Wicklow, look it up on google and you'll see why, it has some breathtaking views! Limerick is another place, it looks super pretty there! My final place in Ireland is Kerry, another place that is just simply stunning!

America:
Like most people, i've dreamt of going over to America since I was little. I'd love to go and experience the American lifestyle and see some of the obvious tourist destinations. New York is up first, I mean who doesn't want to visit the big apple?! Times Square, Central Park, the shopping...oh and i'd love to see a Broadway show or two! Florida next, one of the warmer parts of America, it has stunning beaches and obviously the major tourist attractions being Walt Disney World and Universal Studios which i'd love to go to both! Miami is another place simply for the stunning views you get there! And obviously, LA - seeing the Hollywood sign in person would be amazing and also the Hollywood walk of fame would be fab to see! I'd also quite like to visit Boston, bit of a random one but I have family out there so it'd be great to go even just to see them! I can't forget San Francisco, even if it's just to see the Golden Gate Bridge!

Canada:
Canada is quite a new one on my wishlist. I never realised until the past year or so how beautiful it actually is. I'd absolutely love to see the Niagra Falls up close as I personally think its gorgeous. Toronto is another place i'd love to visit as the city just looks stunning! Finally, Vancouver because again it looks super pretty!

Australia:
Final one on my wishlist is Australia. I'm sure many of us dream of going there to be honest. I'd love to visit Sydney to see the Sydney Opera House, Sydney Harbour Bridge etc. Melbourne and Brisbane are also cities i'd love to see. Not too far away from Sydney is the Blue Mountains which just look beautiful! I also have family there too so it'd be lovely to be able to visit them! I also really want to visit some of the beaches, especially the Gold Coast, Bondi Beach and Whitehaven Beach.


So there's my travel wishlist done for now, if anyone has been to any of these places and can recommend anywhere to visit or things to do then please do let me know! Or if you have any recommendations of any other places to visit feel free to let me know of those too.

Hope you all enjoyed reading this one and i'll be back with another post soon!

Lots of Love, Beki x